An Open Letter to the One Considering Giving Up

To the one who is considering giving up, 

Maybe you’re wondering where God was when you needed Him most. When no one else understood and when the pain was too much, God was supposed to be there. He was supposed to fix it. Isn’t that what He does? Make it better? 

I know you’re tired. I know you feel stuck and that you’d do anything to feel unstuck — even going as far as to do something you know you’d regret. At the end of the day, don’t you just want to remember what this life is for? 

Maybe you don’t talk to God anymore, at least, not like you used to. It’s not that you’re being dishonest with Him. You know He knows. It’s just not up for discussion, since you decided you already know what He’d say. He would be disappointed, right? He would say, “You knew better”…right? 

Maybe that’s what you tell yourself and now you feel like you have all the reasons you need to hold Him at arms length. 

But you can’t keep Him at a safe distance forever. 

You can do your best to put it off; to deny His existence and live in a kind of willful deception, but there will be a day when you can no longer hide (I know, because I couldn’t hide either).

What will it be?

Will it be the realization that you were and still are deeply loved? 

Will you suddenly have to admit to yourself that you refused God’s love -– the same love that He wanted to lavish upon you, but you didn’t trust Him enough to give you what you needed most? 

Will it be a humble plea? “I can’t do this anymore.”

Will you yield to the breaking and the mending?

He will meet you. 

Maybe not in the way that you prefer and maybe not in the way that you expect, but at the point when you feel like there’s none of yourself left, He comes in with grace and fills every part.

Here I am pleading, “Don’t give up hope.”

But please, give up. Stop fighting God. Maybe after giving it some thought you realize you’re actually trying to punish yourself. You know you don’t deserve His love, so you’ve decided you’re not going to receive it.

But refusing Him doesn’t make Him sacrificing the life of His Son for your life untrue. Blaming Him for the failures of others and the pain of this fallen world doesn’t mean that the blood of Jesus wasn’t shed on your behalf. 

I want you to know one thing: He was there when you needed Him most. 

Your idea of when you needed Him and His omniscient understanding of when you needed Him are two different things. He was there when you were dead in your sins, even when you could do nothing for yourself and had NO HOPE. 

God came for broken people. He came for people who don’t know how to love or how to forgive. He came for people who are ungrateful and selfish. He came for us. We could never earn His love, so when all is said and done mercy, grace and beauty flow from the cracks of our broken lives. 

You see, this isn’t just about you. You’re not the only victim of your refusal. Your life relinquished to His care testifies to others of His immense mercy and the unsearchable riches of His multi-faceted grace. 

He’s there. He wants to heal you. In fact, your healing was purchased at the point when you needed Him most. When the penalty for your sin, and mine, was satisfied on the cross. 

Love, 

A fellow sinner saved by grace

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.”

Romans 5:6

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Conquering Worry

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I’m gonna get straight to the point because we all do it. 

We worry. 

Worry, however, is a deception, since it never really solves any problems, it only appears to. 

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The Common Ways of Worry

Most worry creeps in because we lack the faith that God is able to perform what He says He will. 

He says He will never leave us, nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). But, in our lack of trust, we become mentally preoccupied with where we have failed to believe God. And in the failure of that trust, we simultaneously enlist ourselves as ambassadors of our own problems. 

What I mean is, when we worry, we take our problems on all by ourselves. We own them. Only, they actually end up owning us, because let’s be honest, action and worry are really two separate things. Its not like saying, “Oh, I need some eggs.” So, you go to the store and buy some eggs. Or to say, “Hey, someone left the water running.” So, you turn it off. No, worry stems from that powerless feeling you get when you wish you could prevent something bad from happening. Now, there’s no guarantee that this bad thing will happen. Like getting struck by lightning (the odds of which are 1 in 700,000), it will probably never happen. But for some, just knowing that the possibility exist is enough. 

Despite the fact that this issue can or will likely have any effect on you, the mental preoccupation remains. This is worry. It’s pretending to solve a matter by asserting effort towards a problem that ultimately, you can’t do anything about. I wish I could ____________________, you might say, but you can’t. So, you worry. 

Worry is feigned control. 

You imagine that you’re accomplishing something on behalf of the problem you’re concerned for, when in fact, you’re actually doing nothing. You’re worrying. Sure, you can pretend that your in control, but if you really were, you wouldn’t be worrying would you? 

And now, the problem is yours in it’s entirety. You’re consumed and eaten up by a hypothetical world of “what ifs” and maybes. You’re drowned by a ceaseless slurry of thoughts that give credence to situations which will probably never happen. “What if my child marries the wrong person?” a parent might say. “What if my dad loses his job? What will my family do?” a kid might say. “What will we eat? Where will we live? How will we manage?” 

So, the pattern continues in an endless, onslaught of slamming thoughts, envisioning whatever self-conjured hell might come raining down on you at any any moment. 

 

Want the Truth?

Worry is stupid.

No, really. It’s a mental deposit on a problem that doesn’t presently exist. 

Worse yet, worry is predicated upon fear, motivated by the potential for loss.

And yes, I’ll say it again, this fear of loss stems from a lack of trust in God. 

When you worry, you fail to trust that God is as capable to care for you as He says He is. 

But remember, just because the potential exist for something to happen, doesn’t mean it’s actually happened. When you give power to hypothetical situations, you’re actually surrendering your control to everything THAT HASN’T HAPPENED. There’s a greater likelihood that it won’t ever happen. 

In fact, in the menagerie of everything that could happen, only one thing is actually going to take place. 

And whether you can or can’t control it, it’s most likely beyond your control anyway.

When you make yourself the solver of all of your own problems, you’re saying “I’m in control. I can manage it. I can solve this and I intend to do this all by myself.” 

You’re stepping into pride…and pride is sin. 

Well, how do you like that? 

You’ve put yourself in the driver's seat to solve what you know you can’t, and now it’s eating at you from the inside out like some proper disease of the mind. Meaning to resolve the matter, you’ve fallen into sin in the process. 

Helping Your Worry

“But all I wanted to do was help,” you might say.

If REALLY want to help yourself, learn to pray. 

Seriously, that’s the solution?

Trust God. Have faith. He is supreme. He is greater than your problem. And you can start, by offering the situation to Him. 

God isn’t asking you to battle the cares of this world on your own. He commands that we surrender our worries to Him.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care (anxiety) upon Him, for He cares for you.”

— 1 Peter 5:6-7

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

— Matthew 11:28-29

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

— Matthew 6:25-34

Imagine a stack of paper and that each piece of paper in that stack is like a thought in your head. 

With each piece, you have one of two options: you can keep the piece of paper or you can assign it a new owner. 

If you keep it, it’s yours to own. Do with it what you will, but it’s there. It’s yours. 

Give it away and you’ve freed up some space. 

Your thought life is much the same. 

Your brain is full of thoughts…good, bad, and everything in between. 

You’re free to choose and think on whatever you like, but eventually, your brain is gonna start to feel full. 

Prayer is the opportunity to sign over the right of each preoccupying thought in surrender to God. 

You have a choice: keep your worry or give it to God. 

Own your anxiety or lay it before Him. 

Survive with your apprehension or enjoy the freedom you’ve been granted. 

Because this worry…yeh, it’s killing you. 

And you, well, you’re making the rest of us miserable in the process. 

So, stop. Now.

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