Moving into August, my husband and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. In honor of our decade of marriage we wanted to share 10 of the most important lessons we’ve learned since we’ve been married. Here are the first five:
1. Marriage is precious.
Matt recently wrote about some things that have been going on in our little family over the past 5 years. When, materially, we were at our weakest point, our marriage thrived. Why? Because we decided that the important thing wasn’t regaining all that we had lost, but maintaining a healthy relationship with each other. I remember times when we would look at each other knowing that we had like two dollars but we were incredibly rich for two reasons: Jesus and each other. We’d kind of shrug as if to say, “We don’t have any money but at least we can have sex.” #kiddingnotkidding
2. My husband’s purity is not my responsibility but it is my priority.
I have to ask the hard questions sometimes. I have to encourage him to reach out to brothers in Christ because the odds are not stacked in his favor. If they’re not stacked in his favor, then they’re not stacked in mine. I refuse to turn a blind eye and not have the conversation about how he’s doing even though the answer might break my heart. We've set up healthy boundaries to safeguard both of our hearts. In the end, I care more about him and our marriage than I do about my comfort.
3. We look at each other through eyes of potential.
When I look at that man and I see who he’s becoming I’m amazed. He constantly encourages the gifts inside me and I encourage the gifts in him. The weight of our calling is too much to carry on our own, so we help carry it for each other. Our callings are irrevocably intertwined.
4. We realize that some things aren’t going to change.
I am going to leave towels on the floor. When I walk through the door the uncomfortable clothes are coming off and the sweat pants are going on. He recognizes and appreciates my love for food, especially tacos. He knows that I’m either making plans to eat or I’m actually eating or telling someone about something that I just ate. He will always take the biggest bites ever taken by a human being. When we leave the house, he is going to find at least one reason to go back inside before we can leave. He is also one of the most particular and meticulous men I have ever met and I…well, I am not. At all.
5. He will never fully understand me.
He will certainly come closer than any human being ever will. But I have a desire to be fully known that cannot be fulfilled through my husband. It is a desire that was put there by God. In the past, I withheld my heart from my husband because I felt misunderstood by him. I thought that if he really wanted to understand me then we wouldn’t have this problem. But I had the problem. I wanted something from him that he was unable to give. When you want something from your spouse that you were designed to get from God you will only find a breeding ground for dissatisfaction and eventually you’ll start looking somewhere else for the satisfaction that only an all-knowing God can give. (So staahhhppp.)
Well, there you have it. Five things I’ve learned in 10 years of marriage...although, the lessons have been more than I can count. Matt will be back next week with 5 lessons of his own and they’ll be way more interesting lessons than mine.
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