It hits me like a wave. That feeling of weightiness that goes something like this:
This is your life. Don’t waste it.
Your life on this earth has a beginning and it has an end and if you’re reading this right now you’re right smack in the middle of it.
There was a point this week where I felt like I was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. Not because I was breaking any rules or using stealthy ninja skills that we all know I don’t have. But because I, in and of myself, did not feel like I deserved it.
It was one of those moments that was bigger than me. Has that ever happened to you? Where you find yourself in the middle of a situation you know only the grace of God achieved. I just keep thinking, "Why, God? Why?"
Why would He do this for me? Why would He choose me for this? And then, why would He choose me for what's to come? Because if this moment is blowing me away I can't even fathom what He's got up His sleeve for me next.
There are always two things I feel in moments like those: fragility and gratitude.
Fragility because life is a vapor and sometimes we get glimpses of how exposed we really are.
Gratitude because I know that I am fragile but I am also deeply and intimately cared for by a sovereign Father God who holds me together by the word of His power (Hebrews 1:3).
The same eternal word that stands forever is the same word that holds together my fragile life.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I want to encourage you to do things that feel risky for a cause that is bigger than you. You know why you can? Because you are loved. You are completely loved by the Creator of the Universe. Everything that’s of worth is found in Him and guess where we, as Christ followers, reside? In Him. (Colossians 2:10)
I don’t fully understand the nuances of this union. What I know is that it is so, and it is beautiful. And realizing that we belong to Him releases within us a freedom to feel the weight of our fragility and the immense gratitude that comes along with it.
Our only other option is fear.
But ultimately, aren't most of our fears just our excuses? Let’s just admit that when we say we're afraid what we're really saying is we value whatever we’re afraid of losing over whatever God has called us to do. Be it status, title, or material possessions, if our identity is not secure in who we are loved by and found in, then our identity will be wrapped up in lesser, more fallible things.
My prayer lately has been, “Let my life have a far greater impact for your glory than it ever could by living on my own terms”.
God can exponentially increase the impact of our lives for His Kingdom. But we can’t do it ruled by fear.
We are complete and secure in Him and we have to live from that place, because then and only then will we experience the freedom to LOVE with authenticity and SERVE with sincerity - not preoccupied by who sees us or what anyone thinks of us.
That’s the kind of thing that draws people to Jesus. And that's why we're here.
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You know why I like Monday?
Because there’s no pretense about it.
Monday isn’t sexy. It’s not cute or fun.
This is it.
The best of the best.
This pastor, he dresses too hipster, so I don’t like him. His priorities are whack.
This other pastor thinks that God will provide for all his needs. Doesn’t he know it’s wrong to ask God for a car? Especially a nice car?
And then there’s this guy who has more than 10,000 people in his church and mega churches, they're just gross.
Have you ever met an insecure leader?
Well, have we ever met?
Unfortunately, I fit the bill sometimes.
But I think anyone who's a leader and a human being is going to struggle with insecurity in some shape or form.
LIL is short for "Little Insecure Leader."
I grew up as the youngest in a family of four.
When it came down to making decisions as a family there was practically no decision more difficult than determining where to go out to eat. In most cases, this conversation would be held on a Sunday, after church.
My dad and my sister (who was the oldest) were the more headstrong in my family, which usually meant the two of them making ample, even argumentative suggestions of what we should all consume.
My mom, who was the culinary genius, was fine with whatever, but would usually default to some form of asian cuisine. We all knew when she ordered there would typically be an amendment to an ingredient(s) in the food itself.
As many of you know I spend most of my days in my house with my little munchkins.
Many of those days I try to leave the house, even if it’s for something small, like to go to the store to grab an ingredient I need for dinner. I sit the girls in the buggy designed like a car and swing by the bakery to get them a free cookie. That cookie and car-shaped buggy have saved my life multiple times, let me tell you. Sometimes, I will take them to the park or the library and then coax them away with the promise of something “special” aka french fries.
First and foremost, I bid you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!
It’s Thanksgiving Day, and I’m likely beginning my day with a delicious cup of coffee. Now, there’s something to be thankful for—COFFEE! I am exceedingly thankful for coffee. I believe it to be the most enjoyable drink on the earth. And it’s a drink to be had in any season. You can drink it all year round.
For the cold months, there are a million ways to have it hot. There’s nothing better than sipping your favorite tasty latte to warm you from head to toe. Yet, even when the temperature outside rises too high, a well-made cold brew is absolutely appropriate, and quite refreshing.
A few weeks ago I shared that I was going to begin a Whole30. You can read that post here.
Honestly, there is a part of me that doesn’t want to share this. Is this really important? Aren’t there weightier things we could talk about?
I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I cannot be who God has called me to be if I’m bound by an addiction of any kind. I am not as effective of a witness. I am not living free. If I can’t move past this then I am limited. My purpose is limited.